When I became a widow in August 2015 I began to realise how different my life was going to be. Increasingly over the previous 5 years David had become more and more dependent on me until in the final months I became his full time carer.
It took me about a year to refocus my life and this was helped when in the Bookclub we focused on ‘the Purpose driven life’ by Rick Warren.
One chapter I found extra helpful was one which was how God has a purpose for each of us as individuals. Gradually God helped me to find this especially as I was able to get involved in various activities based at Riverside which became like a second home for me!
As I discovered what it meant to be a widow I found that I could relate better than before to those who likewise were on their own and feeling lonely. Before I was in this position I was concerned about the bereaved but felt inadequate to get close to them.
God gave me many single friends with whom I could spend time and benefit from mutual experiences.
When John sadly lost Doreen last year I was aware of how lonely he was, so in November I invited him to meet up for coffee and a chat in the library cafe. I had hesitated about doing this as I did not want folk to think that I had ulterior motives (in fact nothing could have been further from the truth as I was very content with the way life was and I believed at the time that I would lose my private pension if I remarried). John and I met nearly every week from then on and found that although we are both rather deaf we could chat together for usually three or more hours! John introduced me to the pleasure of going on bus trips to places such as Folkestone and Hythe and we really enjoyed having a companion to share the experience.
I’m a bit unsure when it happened but gradually we both felt that we would like to be together all the time and we started to think of marriage. So now as most of you know, we are planning to be married at Riverside on September 7th (following the legal part on the 4th). We seek to serve the Lord together and want to have a home where everyone is welcome especially the lonely and bereaved. The Lord has indeed led us in an unexpected way and although being in our 80s so we cannot expect a long marriage, we trust Him to help us to use this gift to His glory!
- Margaret Harman
Gateway Church Ashford, is a church in Ashford, Kent, and is part of the New Frontiers movement and within the Catalyst Network sphere.