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Feedback - Dare to Date Course

Updated: Mar 18, 2020

At the beginning of May, Gateway hosted the Dare to Date course by Aukelien Van Abbema. It drew attendees from as far as Milton Keynes, Norwich and Switzerland and it did what it said on the tin - it dared us to date!

I can count on my fingers the number of dates I went on in my twenties so I was really grateful to have a day to reflect on what I can do to be more proactive and pick up some helpful tips. Throughout the day the course covered some of the big questions:

- Can women ask men on a date? - Should Christian singles flirt? - What activities and venues make a good date? - What red flags should we be looking for on a first date? - How do you tell someone that you don't want to go on another date with them?

One of the most memorable illustrations for me was of a dating funnel. If the funnel is the right way up, we won't have a long list of criteria that keeps us from saying 'yes' to first dates. Instead, we will only become more selective as we decide whether we want to get to know someone more with a view to pursuing a relationship with them and possibly marriage.

Since attending the course, I have started online dating (making a conscious effort to remember the dating funnel)

I will be making the most of opportunities to meet other Christians in case they could be opportunities to meet potential dates. I am also happy to be set up if anyone reading this knows any eligible Christian bachelors that might be interested in meeting me!

- Ellie


For more information: Aukelien Van Abbema is a licensed counsellor in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples in the Netherlands. She developed a dating course in her church in Amsterdam, and a spin-off course currently runs at Holy Trinity Brompton in London. She has written a book “Dare to Date”. ISBN: 978 0 281 07701 4


Gateway Church Ashford, is a church in Ashford, Kent, and is part of the New Frontiers movement and within the Catalyst Network sphere.

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